I’m on annual leave. Booked and planned for Tuesday- Sunday. Making the most of the Platinum Jubilee Weekend, annual leave booked by the other half and hopefully some great weather at the caravan.
I had managed to remember some holiday foods in the grocery shop, but apart from that (Holiday wise) I was relying heavily on everything else being planned and done for me. I am starting to recognise the different dynamics now in how the household needs to run.
There is no clocking off time when you are an MD. There is no complete break or annual leave- You just carry on working in a different location. That alone makes me a bit sad in truth. I used to hate it when the other half had to work whilst we were away, the boys started to comment about Daddy always working- now that person is me.
Let’s set the scene- All the CTS crew know where they were going for work, and what they were doing, I knew a call was coming from the garage in the morning to pay for tyres- I don’t mind that at all. BUT what I do mind is taking phone calls ON THE WAY (note, I hadn’t even for there) before I was shielding calls and emails about a contractor causing trouble on a secure site. Firstly, by being stroppy with Security at the site and then the embarrassed when questioned why only one person had turned up when there was meant to be two. My heart sank and just added to the already overwhelming voice in my head of “I don’t need this right now”.
This contract is the one I love; I am obsessed with it. I usually love the problems it brings up when eight Purchase Orders fly into mu inbox in 3 minutes, and I need to report back by the end of the next day when the works will be carried out. Failure is not an option. I take it personally, but I also don’t want the company to look bad if we can’t deliver. Over the years, the contract has seen me cope with some incredibly challenging times with so many teams to co-ordinate, chasing and supporting to ensure all deadlines are met.
Something that CTS has always done is made sure the contract is delivered. Without a shadow of a doubt- We will not fail. This has, over the years meant endless hours of overtime, long days, long nights and working weekends- oh and let’s not forget the dreaded night shifts for good measure. All to ensure the client is happy.
So why, when you give the opportunity of work to others, they don’t have that same spirit?! I work closed in partnership with one company in particular. We are as obsessed about the project as each other. It’s what we live and breathe. Yes, there are good days and there are bad days, but this is our bread and butter. Our Guaranteed work, just been renewed for a further 2 years! Woop Woop!
So why can’t others see how my partner and I see it? We are a team! A partnership, if one part of the partnership (we have little sections filled by other companies to make this one big team) needs support, CTS is there to help. However, at present, it’s working the other way when we are the ones that need support.
We all have busy schedules and at times we all have too much work to do, so it’s only natural, hopeful even that like-minded people WILL be there to help you out (And they get paid for it)
I blame my lack of business management skills on the fact that on this occasion we were let down and let down badly. I feel like I have no one to help with the fall out. I feel completely useless that I can’t solve this one. (During a bank holiday weekend when everyone is off enjoying themselves). That’s a truly awful feeling to have when you are driving away on holiday.
So, I have spent the past 3 days going through each and every permutation of how to resolve this issue. This contractor has failed to present themselves, and therefore us in a professional manner and then refused to return to site to complete the works they agreed to do- and unbelievably wanting to be fully paid for NOT doing their job. 100% true!
Having explored all options my end, I have no choice but to inform the client on Monday of our failure. I hate that. CTS haven’t failed. This contractor has failed us! I am pinning all my hopes on my partner in crime being able to smooth the way with this one.
He’s got a phenomenal calmness that exudes from him even in the most stressful of situations. I have picked up an awful lot over the 8 years of working with him, but I truly hope, now my role is different, that I can learn some of his excellent management skills.
Removal of this contractor from the contract seems the only way forward, which brings even more problems in the short term of how to manage another LARGE site they were due to undertake. My mind is still whirring and churning through ways of making it all work. Thinking of scenarios and possible ways to make out perfectly formed little team within CTS part of the larger partnership in the contract with others that share the same team spirit and passion for the work as myself and the contract partner has. Am I after the impossible?!
Reading always used to be a relaxing activity for me- “Before”. I tried to pick up my “Holiday reading book and couldn’t concentrate. I then find myself frustrated for not being able to switch off and relax- but in my defence- these aren’t small things to be coping with for someone with SGAD (Severe Generalised Anxiety Disorder).
By this point of the holiday, I simply gave up. It was Saturday and I had written enough. I couldn’t do anymore without getting responses back from others and a bit of waiting. So, I had nothing to do but to try and relax……. Cue the bad weather, and forecast and the decision to pack up early and come home…… oh! Great! Where did my holiday go?!
Here I am now on Sunday typing up my blog…. I’m drained, fraught, and wound up like a coiled spring.
On the plus side though I have been able to pass some works to one of our local trusty subbies which means we can tackle the BIG site coming up…. But still leaves me relying on my trusty partner to smooth the immediate issue tomorrow.
My parting thoughts are- When is my half term?! When do I get my break? If you hold the answer to these questions, I will be found silently rocking in the corner with hands over my ears and silently screaming to myself.
